Registry and gifts

Tip: Work with a professional registrar to ensure you have an accurate registry

The tradition of the gift registry dates back to 1856, when a French silver manufacturer invented the concept: a clear, convenient way for guests to show their affection and good wishes for the newlywed couple by showering them with gifts from a pre-ordained list. The happy tradition continues, but with several modern changes along the way to help couples establish their first household together.

The best time to register is after you've taken stock of your current possessions and decided on what you need, but before the engagement parties and bridal showers start to take place. You want to allow enough time to take at least two trips to the stores; the first, to decide on tabletop items such as china, flatware and glassware, and the second, to find household items such as kitchenware and bed and bathroom linens. In general, remember to choose more gifts than guests, and select a range of low, mid, and high-priced items.

The tabletop items will take up most of the registry list. Couples generally register for two sets of dinnerware, one formal china service and one everyday dinnerware set such as stoneware or porcelain. In terms of style, try to find patterns that aren't too trendy—think classic and timeless—since you'll be using them for many annual holiday dinners to come! Simpler patterns, such as white or ivory banded in gold or platinum, or white-on-white embossed, are elegant and easy to coordinate with colourful linens.

setting the table

Most china can be found in five-piece plate settings, which include a dinner plate, salad plate, cup, saucer, and a bread plate or soup bowl. Other pieces like coffee cups and serving pieces—a gravy boat, serving platter, and sugar bowl and creamer set—can be added. Typically, couples register for eight, ten, or twelve place settings. Stores often allow you to register for open stock items, or individual pieces of a full pattern, which enables some mixing and matching within the sets.

Flatware is also typically a five-piece set, including dinner and salad forks, knife, teaspoon, and soup spoon. Also consider adding steak knives, butter knives, and other serving flatware to your list. You may also want to increase the number of salad forks and teaspoons by two, since these usually double as dessert silver. Glassware is sold individually; everyday tumblers and wine glasses usually top the list, but some couples add beer glasses, brandy snifters, and liqueur glasses. Other popular entertaining items you may want to include are bowls, platters, and trays in an assortment of sizes.

On your second trip to the stores, tackle kitchen items and household linens; while some couples may need the basics in terms of pots and pans, bakeware, and cooking utensils, others with already well-stocked kitchens might want to include fondue pots, grill accessories, even a sushi-making kit. Choosing a variety of linens will see you through all the seasons of entertaining, from the bold colours of the holidays to the pastels of summer. Choose sets that complement both your formal and informal tableware.

For bed and bath, register for two sets of sheets for each bedroom, and don't forget blankets, pillows, a mattress pad, comforter, and duvet. You'll need four sets of towels for the master bath, and two sets for each guest bathroom. Each set includes a washcloth, bath and hand towels, and two bath mats. Choose large, heavy towels in neutral colours that will stand the test of time, both practically and aesthetically.

A great many fun items fall under the “other” category on the bridal registry. To think of these, consider your lifestyle as a couple: what do you love to do? How about his and hers luggage for that first trip overseas, or matching sleeping bags for that camping trip in the mountains? Do you plan on spending a lot of time in the yard, landscaping and gardening? Or are computers or electronics your passion?

never thought of that

Next, you need to decide where you'll be registering. Ask yourselves: what are our three favourite stores? Are they convenient to our guests, do they have a wide selection, and can they be accessed online or via a catalog? Department or chain stores are the most popular choice, and most will display your list and receive orders on their website. Once you've registered, give the store information to the family and wedding party, but never include it in the actual wedding invitation; the shower invitations or word of mouth are more appropriate.

Gifts received before the wedding should be acknowledged in the form of a thank-you note within two weeks of the gifts' arrival. Those received on the wedding day should have thank-you notes sent no later than one month after your honeymoon. All notes should be handwritten, as typed or printed cards are considered impersonal.

Because gifts are typically sent to the bride, she customarily sends the thank-you, along with a short mention of the gift. It is appropriate, however, for the groom to share in the responsibility, especially when the gift is from a member of his family or close friend.

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