Invitations and accessories

If what you say or do makes somebody uncomfortable, that is a breach of etiquette.
- Emily Post

Tip: In designing specialty invitations it’s important to understand wedding protocol before you deviate from the rules to create your own style.

signed, sealed, delivered

Invitations. It’s said that you only have a single chance to make a first impression – invitations are it! They’re a tactile first impression of your style and they preface the beginning of your new journey together. Invitations have been an eagerly awaited element of the wedding since the mid-eighteenth century. European royals customarily sent their hand-lettered formal invitations, sealed with the family crest, with a messenger for delivery on horseback. The double envelope used in invitations today originated with this early tradition, in which the weathered outer envelope from the long journey was discarded and the clean inner envelope placed on a silver tray for presentation by the butler. First impressions are lasting ones, and when announcing your wedding, the invitation is an especially meaningful consideration: its style and presentation is closely linked to a strong understanding of tradition and etiquette.

What’s your wedding style? Invitations should offer the guests a true sense of the event to come, whether it’s expressing a formal, traditional affair through black engraved type on ecru stationery or conveying a free-spirited, informal wedding by using imported paper set off with a dried flower stem and tied with a satin ribbon. Colours and prints of every kind are replacing the more customary white or ecru, and they tie in other elements of the event, such as the colours of the flowers and bridesmaids’ dresses. Favourite photographs can make up part of the invitation itself, reflecting a landscape or place that’s of special meaning to you. Green approaches utilize seeded papers. Some invitations contain inclusions to surprise the recipient, like confetti, rhinestones or rose petals. Even the invitation’s packaging can be made more personal, using slender, ornate boxes instead of envelopes.

Need ideas? If you’re unsure of where to begin, there are many websites and magazines that show examples of styles of invitations and invitation sets. Start there. Then fine tune your ideas with the help of your invitation printer.

Feeling frugal? If you’re naturally creative and crafty, create your own invitation set. Craft and print shops contain a myriad of papers and envelopes, trims and inclusions.

Paper is art. The very best papers, made of 100% cotton fiber and consisting of heavy stock, are the best foundation for your invitation set. Acceptable formats include the folded invitation with printing on the first page, or a single card. The typeface always should be elegantly simple, and either hand or photo-engraved. Many printing options are available when using coloured ink, including engraving, letterpress, offset printing, thermography, and foil-stamping. Consider asking your printer for a watermark approach whereby your initials or other visual appears like a watermark on all your printed materials.

You may choose to compose your own wording on invitations, but be sure to check with etiquette for some basic guidelines first. For formal invitations, tradition is expressed in both the phrasing and format of the line, with the absence of punctuation and the numbers, dates, and times fully spelled out. The wording and order of the host line can vary depending on who is paying for the wedding and the people involved, especially if they are blended families. Transitions in families, such as deaths, divorces, and rifts can complicate matters, but there are ways to remain tactful and inclusive.

the write words

Couples getting married later in life and who are paying for the wedding themselves frequently put their own names on the host line. If this is your situation, consider following your names with a phrase such as: “together with their families…” It acknowledges your families and the support they’ve given you while also establishing that you are hosting the celebration. Consult your stationer for etiquette on the most appropriate language for your personal situation.

Once you decide on the invitation style and format, don’t forget about the ceremony programs, place cards, table cards, menu cards, and thank-you’s; these should all match the rest of the invitation ensemble. Since writing out thank-you cards will come before you know it, it’s most convenient for you to order these at the same time.

The fine art of the reply used to include the ritual of responding on your own stationery. Today, however, it’s best (and expected) to enclose a response card with a stamped, pre-addressed envelope. “A favour of your reply is requested” is the most appropriate language to use. Since many guests still fail to respond, many couples select an invitation response service. These services will track your RSVP’s as well as follow up with those guests that have not responded. When the entire invitation is ready to be mailed, be sure to select a stamp design you like—your post office will have a great selection of love-themed or artistic stamps—and request that the envelopes be hand canceled.

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